jsurb

Just amazing how quickly 9 years of friendship, and up until very, very recently a not-so-secret hope that a life could be made with someone can turn into this:

"my mom thinks i'm being vindictive and cruel in sending you back your "things" (although she does agree that in the question of who is unhealthy, the Surber family should probably reevaluate the standards by which it judges). i think that i couldn't care less if i hurt your feelings, any level of cruelty is ok by me, and i would rather live without than live with a reminder. however, i do respect my mother's opinion even though i would rather spit on you than ever speak to you again, and so acknowledge that you did produce/purchase the items in question, and so give you the option of having them back."

The lesson here, of course, is that I sure can pick 'em. And all women are crazy. Definitely crazy. The new goal in life is just to find a girl who's crazy isn't demeaning, angry, or demonstrative, but instead goofy, fun, and spontaneous.

That would be the text message I sent to Nate last night. I'm not leaping ahead with possibilities or anything, but it really was a fantastic date. She finds me genuinely funny, which is rare enough, ;) but I dunno...we just...clicked. Yay for awesome first dates, and hopefully a few more to follow.

So...unbelievably...tired. Two straight days of packing, moving, cleaning, (repeat as necessary) and I think my body is just ready to wave the white flag. On the plus side, finally getting set up in the new place, which, other than the random things that don't work (toilet? Really?) its pretty nice. Also found a sweet recliner at goodwill today for 13 dollars. Yes, yes, probably has some sort of fluid in or on it, but they clean those things before they sell them...right? Oh well, just don't think about it.

An interesting thing to try and combine alcohol, weed, and packing. I recommend it to anyone who hasn't tried...which is probably most everyone. Just makes all the packing up seem a little more fun, and the time go by just a little...more interestingly. Hope everyone is having a good night, and wish Nate and I luck on a good and easy move.

It really is amazing how much of a difference you feel when you eat correctly. Or at least, closer to correctly. Replace soda with water (for the most part), eat smaller meals of the non-fast food variety, and you just...feel better. Of course, maybe that's just the self-loathing easing up for a few days. Oh well. Eating "right" certainly isn't easy...and certainly isn't as tasty, but hey, gotta give a little to get a little.

Wow, that sounded like some sort of terrible motivational speaker. Ok, no more self-improvement posts from me.

Thank god for livejournal. I just got the opportunity to remember so many things from so long ago, all because I was a whiny emo kid who wanted the world to see what he was thinking. Honestly, it was amazing. I mean, really, how blessed was I? Its also amazing to read about how much time I wasted being so depressed about...nothing. I'm sure it was important at the time, I'm sure I was consumed by it, and now? Couldn't remember for the life of me what half these crazy-vague posts I seemed to love were referring to. Oh whiny emo kid, I don't miss you. What I do miss are my friends. It didn't really hit me until tonight that I haven't seen Julia in years. God, I miss her. On the plus side, to see all the references to Rachel, Nate, Brandon, and Matt, and still be good friends with all four is just fantastic. The level to which Nate and I have become hetero life mates was unforseen, however.

Its amazing how small one's social circle can quickly become after leaving college. All the posts about random people, and seeing this person, or that person. Maybe its Nate rubbing off on me, maybe its just part of growing up, but there came a point, and it happened subtly, when my social circle became more of a social triangle, or at best, pentagon. So much has happened since I last posted here...so much has changed. And yet, here I am, still endlessly entertained on a regular basis with Nate and hoping against hope that Rachel or I will have the gumption to someday make a life happen. I think I might try and keep this up, it feels strangely relaxing. Until next time.

I came to a realization tonight, and that would be that I can count on my fingers and toes, maybe just my fingers, the number of people I've met here at Linfield that I'd have the least bit of interest in talking to after graduation.

My big brother in Delta (Dave Crane, for those who don't know) is a dad. What is this world coming to?

Guilt	What is yours?	Explain yourself
Culinary:	Siracha Sauce	Its good on just about everything
Literary:	Tom Clancy	What can I say, I love me some fake politics
Audiovisual:	Beauty and the Geek	Yeah, I really don't want to...but its just so damn good!
Musical:	Brandon's gay music	Hey, its catchy.
Celebrity:	Ben Affleck	Closest thing I've ever had to a man-crush.

Now I tag:-

You know, its days like today, and yesterday, and the day before, where I just come home beat, that make me wonder how in the world I'm going to survive throwing on a full-time class load on to this fun little schedule. Ah well. I don't really have a choice, so I guess its time to strap on a helmet, lower my head, and brace for impact.

Ok, so I guess glib one-liners aren't the best way to go on this thing all the time. They get people worried apparently, and I don't mean for that to be the case. Ok, now that's out of the way, on to the good stuff.

Words cannot describe just how much I needed last night. Hanging out with someone other than my family or co-workers was just wonderful. I'm slowly getting used to living with my family again, which is good, I guess. I dunno, my parents and I don't want to live with each other, and we both know it, so its kinda rough at times. (not for a lack of love or anything of the sort, just different people on different schedules who live different lives) But they'll be moved out before I know it, and school will be starting, and work will be picking up, and I will be wondering where all my free time went.

Alright, enough for tonight. I hope everyone had as good a weekend as I, and I'll talk to you all soon.

So what happens when the carefully constructed house of cards that one calls a life begins to fall down? Fuck it all, let's go smoke and drink myself into oblivion.

Woo to blowing off 10 page resarch papers due today...anyone? No? Fine, I'll woo myself. Fuck all ya'lls.

So yeah, Nate's got phneumonia. He's not dead, but he is in the hospital for a couple of days. Just in case anyone was curious....

What a weird evening. Matt's scene went swimmingly, good for him. I'm glad Zane, Jerry and I were able to bring what he wanted out. Everyone seemed to really like it, which is great. God, I'm just all over the map tonight. I tried to take inventory on just how much I've changed since I came here, and came to the conclusion that its fairly pointless. I know I've gone from one end of the spectrum to the other on many things, but does it really matter? As long as I just realize who I am now, I figure I'm ahead of the game. Oh, I probably could go on for pages, but that probably wouldn't be that beneficial to my as-yet-unwritten paper. Boo.

I...just....want....my....god...damn....money.

So its been a while since I've given any kind of update, so what the heck, here's one just for kicks.

Jan term's been fun. I can pretty well sum it up by simply saying: World of Warcraft, Documentaries, Reading, and Drinking, lots of drinking.

Speaking of drinking, my dad came down monday. We, along with Jason and Nate, proceeded to close every bar on third street. On a monday, this is a bad choice. After, well, far too many drinks and too many stories, lets just say my dad told me something I would have been just fine never hearing. I don't want sympathy, I don't want sorries, I just would rather everyone who knows not bring it up, and those who don't, if I want you to know, I'll tell you.

I do miss our house minorities. As fun as its been having essentially free rein on the house, it'll be nice to have the 3rd leg of our pledge class drinking triad back, and it'll be swell to have the goose back around. Jason has been given plenty of ammo, and I fully expect to be on the floor at least twice during his rants. :)

Alright, off to bed. Got plenty of studying to do tomorrow. Later all.

So I've decided that coming home puts me in a very introspective mood. I don't know why, weather its the psuedo-psychologist for a father, or simply being thrown back into the life that I left behind a long time ago. I talked with Rachel for 4 hours tonight...how do we do that? I've known her since our freshman year of high school, and yet we still manage to find enough to talk about to keep an interesting conversation for 4 hours. I could go on for paragraphs, but I'm tired and want to go to bed. G'night.

Happy Holidays everybody, I'm out.

I'm gonna pass Ancient Philosophy! I can still get a B!!!